My Terrible Weekend

I really wasnt going to write anything about my weekend but then I changed my mind. Maybe writing will help me straighten out my thoughts. Troy and I had a really bad fight. Some friends of ours , a couple that we hang out, Kevin and Christa came in town because it was Christa's birthday. SO we decided to go to this really nice bar, called Gpsy C0-Op. Its funny because the band at the bar was playing all Bill Withers songs. Anyways Troy and I got in an argument. Kevin started in on me, Erica why you giving Troy a hard time. I said Kevin I dont think its any of your business so stay out of it. Kevin would not let up. Erica you seem like such a taker to me. I couldnt believe he said that after all I have done for this guy. He practically lived at my house when I lived in Brampton. I really am not a taken. I never ask anyone for anything. I always pull my own wieght and others if need be. Anyways already Christa's birthday was ruined. I was so upset and i just wanted to go home and go to bed. We get home. ANd it doesnt stop there, Kevin is like why you got to get so upset when you dont get your own way. Im like, Kevin why you got to worry so much about me and Troy. Troy has nothing to say in all this, he just sits there.

SO I go to bed. I go to bed and still I can hear Kevin talking about me. I get out of bed I go out to the living room and I say Kevin, thats it. Im done, please go home now Kevin. This is the end of me and you. I was so upset. I go back to bed and fall alseep right away.

The next day, I wake up , I find Troy asleep on the couch, probably afraid to sleep with me becase I was so mad. I fought with him the whole next day abot everything. About me coming back to Ontario to live with a bunch of guys when he was suppose to save moeny and get us an apartment. About him not having a stable enough life, moving from job to job. About me having to support him when he doesnt have a job. It was one of the worst fights every. I told him that I didnt think I could stay in a relationship with him anymore. I told him it was too stressful for me. I told him I was getting my own apartment and we would have to see what happens from there. I cant stay in the apartment im in now anyways, its too cold. Its the same temperature in the living room has it is outside. I have to spent most of the time in my bedroom to stay warm.

When I first came back I was going to get my own place but i thought we'll stay here for awhile and save more money. I should of done it then.

Im 28 years old, can I start over again? Do i want to start over? I really do love Troy but hes going to have to get his own life straight before we can have one together. ITs really so depressing and stressful. Im so confused.